It may only be December 1st, but there’s already holiday stuff everywhere! Shopping at this time of year is a great way to get a sneak peek at lots of different parenting styles. Please, No judgey eyes! I have personally been responsible for more than one largish melt down because I wanted to make just one more stop or stay just one more minute. What I wanted to write about today is something I feel like I overhear all the time, but especially at this time of year…
I really can’t stand it when I hear a grown up person say, “Oh, stop. You’re fine.” Clearly if everything was fine the little person wouldn’t be upset in the first place and I seriously doubt that this is in any way comforting. Just because it’s not a big deal to the grown up, doesn’t mean that it’s not a very big deal for that little person. Even if it’s a misunderstanding or exaggerating the situation, it’s still their reality. You can’t change how a little person feels just by telling them to feel something else!
Some other things I like to say instead:
“You seem upset. What’s going on?
“We’ll figure it out together.”
“What do you need to feel better?”
“I can tell that’s really important to you. Can you please help me understand why?”
“I’m not sure what you mean. Can you please explain it to me in different words?”
If you have another suggestion or go-to comment that works for your family, I’d love it if you’d add it in the comments below. Whatever and however you celebrate, happy holidays everyone :)