Now at JoyfulParentingBlog.wordpress.com

Hello Everyone,

UntitledJust a quick note to let you all know that I will now be blogging on JoyfulParentingBlog.wordpress.com. I’ve already moved over all the posts and pictures and even your comments! Please take a minute to click over and push the “follow this blog!” button to keep getting updates sent directly to your inbox. This site will be removed shortly and I’d hate to lose you.

Best, Christine


 

The Business of Parenting

A few weeks ago I went away on a solo vaca + business retreat in the San Francisco area (Tracy Lee Jones’ Business, Brilliance and Bliss Retreat.) It was my first time traveling by myself and I’m really quite proud of how brave and adventurous I was; for doing the self-care thing + saying yes to the things that scare me + investing in myself and my sweet little business (Joyful You.) I had an amazing time sightseeing, eating delicious food, making new friends and planning for 2015.

On the fl494329731ight home, I had some time to reflect on what I’d been learning about (because I was in a middle seat, the guy next to me was sleeping for the whole 5 hour flight and I was too polite to wake him up!) and I realized how much having a business is like having a baby!

Both started off with an idea and a decision that I nurtured and grew until it was ready to be shared. Once I released my kids and my business into the world, I was proud + confused + a little lost, so I did hours and hours of reading and research and self work to figure out what to do next. Both my kids and my business helped me realized how important it is to have routines and boundaries and to take really good care of myself in the process. There have been lots of celebrations and lots of sleepless nights. There’s also been a lot of trial and error (or as Tracy says, “testing and tweaking.”) And, just when I think I’ve reached a big milestone and I can take a break, I realize there’s still so much more to do and teach and learn. My business really is like a third child!

Probably the biggest parallel I noticed on that long flight home is that I get out of parenting and business exactly what I put into it. When I show my kids respect, they show me respect. When I use kind words, they’re all pleases and thank yous. If I push, they push back.  And, if I want them to change something that’s going on, first I need to change it myself. Tracy talked about “business karma,” the idea that spending money investing in business will actually encourage more clients to buy…kind of like me going to the Bliss Retreat to learn more businessy things so I can give even more amazingness to my clients and get even more clients. I’m so grateful for my clients, dedicated parents who work hard every day to raise healthy kids and find balance for themselves. As a mum, I know how challenging it can be to spend time or money on myself, so I still get so excited when a parent makes the decision to invest in my ecourse, coaching or a workshop. I’ve seen how much good comes from parents making those changes and how it can change their whole family. I guess that’s kind of like parenting karma.


Christine Marion-Jolicoeur helps busy parents find the joy in everyday moments so they can raise healthy, connected kids. She’s an Amazon #1 bestselling author and creator of the Joyful Parenting workbook + ecourse.

ebook coverDownload the free Joyful Parenting e-book, your 6 step guide to confidence, clarity and connection with your kids when you need it most + receive the Joyful You Newsletter by entering your information below:

Help!

Asking for help…it sounds so simple, but sometimes it’s anything but. I speak to so many parents who struggle with this every day. Many feel like they’re supposed to be able to do it all, have it all and be everything to everyone, so asking for help would be like failure. I was there once too and some days I still am. When my little people were brand new I got stuck in that trap and I thought I had to be better-than-perfect. Eventually, I realized that no one else wanted me to be a supermum or a mummy martyr…I was putting all that pressure on myself and it was completely soul-crushing.

ask-for-help

Here are 3 steps that work for me when I need help asking for help:

1. Figure out what will be helpful.

What’s the one thing that’s going to make biggest difference for me right now?

2. Ask the right person/people for that help.

Who’s the best person to give me the help I really need? Friends? Family? A cleaning person? A coach or counselor?

3. Let them show up for me.

Actually let them do what I’ve asked them to do, without guilt or shame and without apologizing for needing help in the first place. In my more zen moments, I can remember that allowing someone else to be there for me is also my gift to them. I’m giving them the gift of being helpful and giving them the gift of my receiving and my gratitude.


Christine Marion-Jolicoeur helps parents of toddlers to teenagers build their confidence and skills so they can stop worrying about messing up their kids and start finding the joy in everyday moments. She’s an Amazon #1 bestselling author and creator of the Joyful Parenting workbook + e-course.

ebook coverDownload the free Joyful Parenting e-book (your 6 step guide to confidence, clarity and connection with your kids when you need it most) + receive the Joyful You Newsletter by entering your information below:

 

What does Parenting on Purpose look like?

This is for the parents who’ve been asking for more information about Parenting on Purpose, what it is, what it means and how I do it + anyone new to the Joyful Parenting Blog.

I use the phrase parenting on purpose to describe how I make the decisions that work for my family. For me, it means making conscious choices, focusing on kindness and setting healthy boundaries. I’ve written before about the way I was raised and feeling like there were times that I was parented accidentally + about becoming a new mum myself and feeling like I had to be a better-than-perfect parent. In a lot of ways, parenting on purpose is the opposite of those things and my reaction to wanting to do something totally different.

I hope the list below helps answer some of your questions and that you find one or two (or 10!) ideas to start trying with your own family today. Here are 10 articles from the Joyful Parenting archives that best explain Parenting on Purpose:

  1. Parenting on Purpose in 3 Easy Steps

  2. How to Keep a Marriage Together When the Kids Keep Getting in the Way

  3. 10 Lessons I’ve Learned from my Little People

  4. Finding Our Own Way

  5. Why Santa & the Easter Bunny Don’t Visit My House

  6. If You Don’t Talk to Yourself, Your Self Will Talk to You

  7. You Won’t “Enjoy Every Moment” of Being a New Mum and That’s Okay

  8. Find Another Way to Say ‘No’

  9. When You Know Better You Do Better

  10. That’s Not Love


Christine Marion-Jolicoeur helps parents of toddlers to teenagers build their confidence and skills so they can stop worrying about messing up their kids and start finding the joy in everyday moments. She’s an Amazon #1 bestselling author and creator of the Joyful Parenting workbook + e-course.

ebook coverDownload the free Joyful Parenting e-book (your 6 step guide to confidence, clarity and connection with your kids when you need it most) + receive the Joyful You Newsletter by entering your information below:

 

 

Answering Real Life Parenting Questions: Sleep

q-and-a

imsis609-022Q-My youngest is two and just spent an hour saying, “I won’t go to sleep, I won’t go to sleep…” I just don’t remember how I dealt with this phase with my oldest. Honestly, I am so tired of this. Any tips on how to handle this without just giving in to everything out of tiredness?

A-It sounds like you already know what’s going to work best for your little one; consistency. You didn’t mention whether or not you already have a routine, so I’ll start there. Even though this might be a difficult time to make up a routine and stick to it since you’re already so tired, letting the chaos go on will likely make things harder in the long run.  Having a regular bath time and bedtime routine definitely helps my family. It’s a constant challenge for me to stay on time and not get lazy about things,  but I do it anyway because I know it works for us. How do I know? Well…because I see how wonky things get for all of us if my kids stay up late to do something special, skip part of their routine, or if I give in to the onslaught of “Please, just one more thing!”

169260363Got a routine already? Great. Here are some other things to think about:

I also try really hard to let my kids know that their routines came out of my love and respect for them, not frustration (even though some times I feel really frustrated.) I think there’s such a big difference between saying to a little person, “You need to go to bed now because it’s bedtime,” or “You need to go to bed now because I’ve had enough.” and “I love you so much that I want you to get a good night sleep so you can feel rested for all of your big adventures tomorrow.” With the last one, there’s nothing to fight or resist, just love.

On really hard nights, like the one you described, I do add some extras to our regular routines to help my kids settle and stay in bed.

-a homeopathic remedy (Quietude by Boiron or Rescue Remedy) can take the edge off their restlessness

-lavender oil in their bath makes it special + soothing

-guided meditations for kids are amazing and L and D get really into them

-massaging their little feet and legs helps them to relax and stay laying down

-asking them to tell me the ONE thing that is going to help them get to sleep (i.e. water or a snuggle)

143382580Please know that no matter how brilliant, the same thing won’t work every single time, so it’s best to have a few different choices to rotate through or layer depending on what’s going on that night. On really, really hard nights we might do all of these things.

The thing about sleep is that it can be such a tricky and tentative thing. A bad cold, daylight savings time or a new phase (growth spurt, separation anxiety, nightmares, etc) can really throw things off. If you have a decent routine going and notice a sudden, big difference in your little person’s behaviour at bedtime, try to think about what’s been going on in your life and in your family that may be creating some stress (good or bad, any change can create stress!) Figuring out what’s changed is not a solution itself, but it can help the situation make more sense to your grown-up mind and help you stay calm and patient in the moment.


Christine Marion-Jolicoeur helps parents of toddlers to teenagers build their confidence and skills so they can stop worrying about messing up their kids and start finding the joy in everyday moments. She’s an Amazon #1 bestselling author and creator of the Joyful Parenting workbook + e-course.

ebook coverDownload the free Joyful Parenting e-book (your 6 step guide to confidence, clarity and connection with your kids when you need it most) + receive the Joyful You Newsletter by entering your information below: